Someone asked me, “What do you do after Self-Love?”; a love letter to that person.
To that person,
If you’re a Drag Race fan, you probably heard RuPaul Charles saying “if you can’t love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love somebody else?”. True enough. How can you give something that you don’t have?
But let’s put it this way; you learned how to love yourself better – lucky you – but what if the ones you love haven’t yet?
To go through the gruesome process of loving one’s self is an act of bravery and selflessness; it is a gift and sharing that love is another thing. To answer your question, “What do you do after self-love?” – well, you share it!
Here are ways I know how:
Self-Love doesn’t happen overnight. It is a long, painstaking process of looking deep and accepting flaws. It is not your job to change the person, what you need to do is to offer support and be with that person through and through. Understand that it is a never-ending process and it shouldn’t be rushed. Be kind, always.
Show them that you love them. That no matter how messy things may look, reassure them that you have their backs. Hug them! Affirm them. Remind them of the good things about their selves. Be honest but never rude. Accept them as they are. Listen.
Give them means and tangible ways to discover things about themselves. May it be a good book, or great movie or an amazing adobo recipe, be generous enough to offer what you have.
As for me, being exposed in the industry of intimate toys, I’ve learned that loving one’s self can take manifestation in a way that maybe you haven’t thought of; through sex toys and masturbation. Knowing what it can do to a person’s body and well-being, I can give a person the gift of self-love through toys and allowing them to know how to give pleasure to their selves.
If you have loved yourself, let other people have that gift too. Until it spreads to a bigger level. Someday, I hope the kind of love I learned and is sharing will be enough to create greater changes.
Give the gift of Self-Love this coming holiday season!