Pleasure is a birthright. Masturbation is part of my nightly self-care ritual because it gives me the time and space to love myself with tenderness, in ways that others can’t. Learning that your body makes you feel good also helps with accepting your body for what it looks like, besides, it's hard to hate something if it allows you to feel something as good as an orgasm. When one has a shame-free connection to their body, they can become attuned to physical sensations that feel good as well as those that do not feel good. Self-pleasure can be just as intimate as partnered sex.
Masturbation isn’t just turning on your favorite vibrator - although you can if you just want the endorphins to help you fall asleep. Assuming that you know how to clean your toy well (I recommend unscented gentle soap or one of ilya’s toy cleaners), masturbation is the safest form of sex. Not only are you safe from STDs and pregnancy, but you’re also free from performance anxiety which often leads you to be too anxious to reach orgasm (yikes!). Remember that orgasms don’t indicate how good you are in bed, so don’t beat (hehe) yourself up if you’re having a difficult time reaching climax. You learn new things about your body each time!
Think of masturbation like a date, just like in any date, take time to do foreplay - set up the mood with a scented soy candle, take your time to tease yourself with some nipple play, and find your erogenous zones. Self-affirmations can also help you get in the mood. Just like how you keep yourself safe on a date, research how your sex toy works, which actions feel good for you, and listen to your body when it’s time to stop. Be present and grounded - be aware of the physical sensations that feel good as well as those that do not feel good.
We all deserve to experience the pleasure and benefits that are acquirable through self-touch. It makes you feel good in more ways than you could imagine. Self-pleasure is safe, healing, and soothing. Or you know, just do it because it feels hella good.
written by: A.J. Daclan
Image Credit: https://unsplash.com/@deonblack